i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
