My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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