he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
