actually, I'm a sock model
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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