Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
