i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
