pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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