just come out here and I will go home with you...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
