Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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