His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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