Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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