your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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