So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
