I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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