Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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