What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wear drunk well.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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