I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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