I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize