I accidentally burped into my bong.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
