so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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