Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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