I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
