just come out here and I will go home with you...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
