I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
