I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
