dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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