I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
