Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
