Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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