I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
