Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
