I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
