I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
