Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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