me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
