Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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