You really coming over, don't trick.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
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People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize