Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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