Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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