i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
