im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
