I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
