I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
