"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
