Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize