i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
did i just pee glitter
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
