I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
