Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
