just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
