come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
