oh god the rape fog is back!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
