The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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