was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
