Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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