why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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