This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
