I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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