Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
