Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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