Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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