Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
