when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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