How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
