Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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